We all have the power to take responsibility and to stand up to inappropriate behaviour when we witness it. I think the phrase “the standard you walk past is the standard you accept” sums it up.
K grew up in a large and happy family but from an early age had a propensity to be light fingered and told fibs.
In retrospect, unlike his siblings who all made mistakes and were a bit naughty at times, they learnt vital life lessons and suffered punishment and guilt.
K never seems to have experienced remorse or guilt.
The first signs of this apparent sociopathic behaviour went largely unnoticed. Today it’s referred to as antisocial personality disorder, a mental health condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others. Who knew?
K's early teen years were punctuated with stints in juvenile detention for crimes ranging from burglary to armed robbery, very often perpetrated against close friends, neighbours and relatives.
Not until K was eligible to be sentenced in an adult goal did his behaviour change a little, then he was cunning enough to avoid adult prison time by turning ’Queens evidence’ or informing on his accomplices in crimes to avoid harsh sentencing. There are people out there still today 40 years later who bear a long held grudge towards him for this.
The next 35 or so years were peppered with many transgressions, work cover fraud, deceptions, theft, too many to list but a highlight reel might contain;
- Breaking up of his first marriage due to his infidelity, drug taking and theft.
- Stealing a siblings identity and racking up debts in his name.
- On the death of a close relative K volunteered to sort through the deceased business affairs as help for his sister only to steal $1500 cash from the belongings his dead and as yet unburied brother in law.
- Attempted, after his brother’s tragic suicide, with accomplices to defraud his mother of an insurance payout from his brothers superannuation insurance cover.
- When his mother was ill and deteriorating and nearing her end of life she asked K to come and say goodbye, he did not.
- When his mother died K did not attend the funeral.
He did happily and quickly accept his inheritance from his mother through his mother’s estate. The solicitor even commented on his unusual speed and co-operation as compared to most beneficiaries in his experience.
Then a mutual friend died suddenly and I attended the service at a funeral home chapel. K was there and confidently walked up to me and put out his hand as to shake mine, out of respect for the deceased and their family I did not punch him in the face.
But stunned and angry at this display of arrogance I simply looked him in the eye and said “No mate, that’s not happening!” And then as he walked on past me stony faced I remarked to him “and please try not to steal anything”.
Although upsetting this event was kind of cathartic for me, as the poisonous gift that just kept on giving seemed to wash away in my mind.
Cathartic (meaning) - providing psychological relief through the open expression of strong emotions; causing catharsis. "crying is a cathartic release"
I personally can forgive my brother for all transgressions, he simply is a of dishonest and disloyal character BUT he broke my mothers heart when he did not go to her to say goodbye when she asked, and she died knowing full well he did not. Then not even going to here funeral. This caused all the family great distress.
Our mother too would forgive him in a heartbeat, but alas she has passed now and that act of charity is not longer in her power. Denied her by his actions.
I also do not personally approve of people knowing these facts and treating K in a normal courteous and civil way as this normalises his behaviour and therefore is indirectly enabling his ways, justifying and supporting his harmful behaviour.
Conveniently leaving the past unaddressed is helping this behaviour from never seeing its natural consequences.
If you are thinking this is deformation, I can prove this all to be substantially true, I would rely on the truth defence as a complete defence to any challenge of this document. So even if a court finds an imputation to be defamatory, I am not liable as I can prove the imputation to be true in substance or not materially different from the truth. I can provide original documents and witnesses who are credible and willing to testify in court. Additionally, these witnesses have firsthand knowledge of the relevant circumstances.
